no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
