the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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