Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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