So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
