she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
