I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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