ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
