We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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