SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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