Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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