we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
