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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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