i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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