i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
