Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
