So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
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