Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
