Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
