If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
