my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
