Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
