What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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