He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
