Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
