I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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