Did you just see the Batmobile???
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
