first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she looked like the before picture.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
