Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
