P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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