if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize