I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize