I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
