i think my tv is drunk
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
my god I love twenty year old dicks
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
