So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
