let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
