whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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