I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize