Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
