tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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