sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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