It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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