"it" just moved
Screwed.edu
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
