i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You don't make any sense
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