I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
