there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
