I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
no. you can't hotbox the world.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
