ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
