his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
