Tell her she can't have a vagina
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
