Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
50% drunk capacity currently
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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