If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
