Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
