what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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