I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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