Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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