I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
