If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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