I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
