If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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