He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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