Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
