I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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