Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
my phone needs a breathalizer
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
