Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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