Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
