dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize