Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
