I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
