I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
